Its just a blog.

But it's a little awkward lately.

I think it is a mix between not wanting to be one of those people who go around telling strangers, "I have a blog. Please read it." and sounding like a desperate friendless person... (I feel like a friendless person at the moment, but I'm really not. They've just all gone ...somewhere.)

And

Well I might have a story about some of these people in my drafts... I try really hard to not post identifying information if I'm posting awkward stories about someone else, and there is a lot that I don't post. But if you do really weird things I might talk about you; I mostly talk about myself though so relax.

(I think I just admitted to writing awkward stories about my friends. Maybe I should reword that eh?)

I actually don't go all off telling everyone's secrets, but I did once give an explanation because untrue things were said about me to everyone. But she complained and I deleted it.

Currently thinking about a conversation I had a few Sundays ago with a friend who kept adamantly insisting, "You should never have to change yourself."

Was trying to figure out if he reads my blog, because I've talked about changing myself some lately here, and because he kept just randomly throwing, "Do not change yourself." and "You shouldn't ever have to change yourself for anyone." into a non related conversation, but I didn't ask for in case he didn't read my blog.

I don't know why I care. Maybe I don't. It is a blog. It's not my journal. I've always tried not to post anything that I would mind anyone reading.

Also thinking about how I told Sharon and Michele's's family, "It's weird for my friends dad's to read my blog."

I don't really mind, if people read what I write. In fact I rather like having people read my blog. (Including my friends parents, Most of them are my own friends in addition to being my friends dads.)

But there was that time Chris was asking, "So Esther who is the guy who wears flowers in his hair?" AND THE GUY WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. Then I freaked out. Not because I was mean to him in my post, but because other people could warp it that way if they wanted to. I later explained to the guy that yes I did write about him, and he said, "I must be really important to get into your blog." (Don't flatter yourself dude, but yeah.)

And this girl, who was snobby at a wedding, I ended up at a party with her and she was sweet and nice, and I wondered, 'maybe that was just an off day for her?'

So yeah, about all those stories in my drafts. Hmmm.



(Nah probably not)


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Btw I disagreed with that friend who says you should never have to change yourself. I think we all need to change ourselves on a regular basis.

Mostly I change myself because I decide I would prefer a different version of myself, but I completely change myself for other people too. So to be less hurtful or more helpful to them...

Unless you are perfect (and you are not) you should try to get more perfect, (so that you don't annoy your buddies.)