change ?

“What’s wrong with your voice, honey?”

“Nothing, I just have a weird voice” I grinned at the Subway lady.

“Oh I’m sorry. I just thought, you know. Colds going around.”

My voice sounded funny because I was thinking serious thoughts on the drive to Subway--It’s a funny, but true, explanation.

“It’s strange,” Leah informed me several years ago, “When you talk about serious things your voice completely changes.”

I hadn't noticed and carefully moderated my voice for a while after that. When fast food workers worry about my voice maybe I should start smoothing it out again.

It does change a lot; my voice gets higher when I’m hyper and cracks when I’m serious. … sometimes my voice is normal; I think. Maybe when I’m not hyper, or serious, or at work, or on the phone…

The Gordon People always had a remark about my voice every time I telephoned: “I knew it was you the minute I heard your squeaky voice,” or “You really don’t need to say who you are when you call. Everyone can tell.” Every person in that family discussed my voice, “YOU JUST HAVE A VERY DISTINCTIVE VOICE, MISS ESTHER,” Philip (the dad) boomed regularly. (Talk about distinctive voices; seriously that man has a huge voice.)

“We Love Your Voice!” Is what John and Joseph always said, “It is really squeaky and awesome!” (Of course they are huge proponents of individuality.)

I recall Trent whose blog I occasionally read saying, “a lower voice is usually better “ I don’t think this applies to women…

I could pay for speaking lessons Yeah, right. That is so not Esther-like, though I did pay for singing lessons for a while.

Google tells me breathing correctly is very important, and speaking in monotone is dreadful, but I don’t think that’s my problem…

I’m not sure I want a completely normal voice. Mine is really squeaky and weird; sometimes that’s awesome.

Sometimes not so awesome...


I'm still thinking about it.



-Anyway Happiness