(Last week)

Hugely exaggerated stories. Malicious talk...

The third thing, after shock and pain, that filled my mind was, 'Woah how dare they tell such horrid lies, and attempt [semi successfully] to ostracize everyone associated with one person just because they didn't get what they wanted...

Then a moment later, "Hmm, I know enough provable dirt on them to show their history of lying, and could easily prove some way worse sins than the one they are falsely claiming my friend is living in.'

..And for a few minutes I thought about blurting it all out. Giving what they gave. Pulling up the net, 'the Internet is forever,' and as of right now there is so many provable contradictions.

Then I remembered-

God's love is forever too
So is God's forgiveness

Forgiveness that not only applies to my best friends, but forgiveness that is available to those that hate them and us, and you. And, well, everyone.

To be a Christian I must be Christlike.

As far as the East is From the West. That's how far I am to forgive.

[May 2014 Update: I'm still in favor of forgiving people, but wish I'd stood up for my friends better.]

Untitled Story

I miss you already
        and
I miss 'our' chapter
        but
As I start to slam the book closed
        so
Unhappy with this ending

The Author reminds me
He is writing my book
    (If I let Him)

And it's not over yet

Perhaps we were only minor characters in each other's story
But will be supporting characters in someone else's book

Here's to happy endings...

----

I Could Really Use A Change of Heart

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" he asked.

Self conscious, I slouched a little down the wall, "I would like to be married."

"Do you plan to keep a job after you're married?"

"Until I have kids." The thought of staying home with children all the time is not an exciting thought to me. But I believe that the parents should raise their children not the grandma. (When beliefs and desires conflict; I usually stick to beliefs...)

"I was thinking that, so theres not a lot of point of you going to school."

"Weeeeell 5 years ago I wouldn't have expected myself to be still single today, soooo."

"But that was by choice right? You could be married by now if you wanted to."

'Shove it in my face man... Yes. I walked away from everyone.'

I was busy, they didn't suit me, one (or 8) of my friends were in love with him and I didn't want to destroy my girl friendships, or I was scared...or my heart was otherwise occupied, so I didn't give anyone else a chance.

Mostly the heart-being-otherwise-occupied thing.

I'm everything or nothing; either intensely in like, or planning my escape. Usually both simultaneously. I hate that. Blast this.

What is the matter with me?

Lately...

Half the time I think, 'Wow, its really nice of them to put up with my beliefs.'

And it is. And I know that.

But lately I really wish I had friends who share my values. Rather than just those who cope with my having them.

I should try to cultivate some closer friendships outside of my usual circles.

Probably.
Definitely

Sigh.