Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Lots of love, No Words


Monday (1-4-10)
After hugging and kissing the kids and hugging Shalom I turned to go, and as I was leaving Daniel, her husband, said, "I Love you Esther. Be safe." (Dude just cause you happened to call last night and I happened to be crying does not mean I am going to be unsafe.)

"Love you too, and I'm gonna be fine," I replied as I turned to go.

He whooped and fist punched the air, "She said it! She finally said it!" he told Shalom.

I paused awkwardly, and turned away from the steps, Huh what? Oh, that...,"Have I not before...?"

Shalom shook her head, "No you haven't. He's been keeping track."

So yeah, the man has a list in his head of all his wife's siblings who liked him when they met him, and those who (in his opinion) didn't. Plus a list of those who have and haven't told him they loved him. Lol. (Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Not like evil weird  or anything, and he is allowed to be weird, but it is weird nontheless.)

Do people tell  their brother-in laws they love them? Is that normal? I don't tell just heaps of people that I love them, and the ones I do its not everyday or anything, (but sheesh it's often enough.)

After that conversation I thought for a couple of days about starting to tell more people that I loved them, and in fact the very next day I texted a sick person, "Love you kid and get better."

Then I felt awkward.

And decided

I don't want to start telling everyone I love them.

It's just too awkward to tell people that all the time. (Especially guy people, or more specifically guy people who don't belong to me or are not my brothers or something.)

Oh well.

Just something about it is too mushy and just yuck. (Or maybe I should work on it....)
I'm not naturally a verbally affectionate person, but hey I am forever more so than when I was younger....

More on that here...


Jes said...

He's Hispanic. It happens =]

Plus, in-law acceptance is very important. :( (At least to me [and apparently Daniel.])

Esther said...

Are Hispanics more mushy?

I actually do love him a lot, and he does fit with our family very well. I think I was the 1st to tell Shalom, "You should keep him."

I work on being more affectionate... Not so sure about using 'those words' regularly though. Maybe it's a good time to push myself again.

Jes said...

In so many words, yes lol. It's a different culture. Daniel and I talked about it once. Mom's family is more.."lovey" you could say. For example, I could bring one of my friends to my grandfather's, and all of the relatives would love that fried. Just because they knew me. It's weird.

Eh..I used to feel bad for not telling anyone I loved them. But now, I'm thinking,'Hey, this is my choice.' I mean, I don't want to appear casual in saying I love some one. You know?

Anonymous said...

I have a problem saying ''L'' word too. I have never said it to a boy (in that sense) and I don't like telling my friends that I love them. I think its because I have told people in the past (just friends or church family) That I love them and then was hurt deeply by them either as a whole or individually, I hate how vulnerable it make me feel to say it, even now I have to really work on saying it to people even if I really do love them as a person and even if they are very sweet and kind, it's still hard, but I suppose it's one of those things to work on :)

Esther said...

Is just awkward (sigh)

Thing is if you love people they are capable of hurting you even if you don't tell them you love them.

I don't think people should go around telling their boyfriends or girlfriends they love them (in that sense) unless they really do.

Its wrong.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I agree, it makes me sick to hear my friends tell their boy or girl friend that they love them. and then later break-up its childish and a waste of the three most powerful words you can tell someone close to you, those words should be saved and not spent on countless boys people that go in and out of your life. ( in the boy friend / girl friend sence )

Anonymous said...

I meant countless people sorry

Amy Lizzy said...

I think, that if you love someone-- truly love them for who and what they are (or can be) that its appropriate to let them know. Sometimes its by words but most of the time its done by the way you treat them and act towards them.

However, if you love someone don't be afraid to tell them.