Thursday, October 22, 2009

Guys Get No Validation

Later that day we were sitting in a circle and talking about love and getting married etc. (lotta talk no action that's us lol) and it came up how several of the (older) girls, me included, are forever talking about marrying the tall blonde boy.

"You need to wait until he is 18; After he is 18 you can all fight it out." his brother said.

I gulped inside; Surely he doesn't think we are serious about marrying him. 8 years man. I am 8 years older than him--8 years is the life of forever. At least since he is still a teenager. (Older and more mature people can have a bigger gap.)

So I said "Yeah well [He's] pretty, but it's not like that."

The Tall Blonde Boy cheerily said "Thank you Esther," (referring to the pretty comment.)

"--Pretty! Don't call [my brother] pretty! Pretty is too girly!"

He was right of course.

"I don't usually use pretty for guys, but what about beautiful?" I asked. (I do regularly call guys beautiful, but not where they can hear. Its' just like when talking to another girl about a guy and am like, 'Yes, he is beautiful'.) Was just curious to hear a guys take on that.

"No that's just too much," answered the brother.

"Well what do you call guys?"

"I don't call them anything. I'm just like, "Man you need a shower; you stink...."

"Sexy Beast' that's what Toby calls me. Or ravishing--Ravishing; that's what I'm going to start calling guys, 'man you really look ravishing today' "The Tall Blonde Boy chuckled, and grinned.

I suppose I could write, "How sad that it must be said so over the top; that a compliment must be a joke in order to be said at all."

--But it would be really weird to me if the guys started telling each other "You look really cute today" or "That color brings out your eyes. You should wear it more often."

Too bizarre. Girls say that kind of things to guys or to each other. Guys say that to girls. But to each other....

So yeah....

I'm un-happy with the status quo.

But also un-happy for my brothers and guy friends to not be getting the affirmation and ego boosts that they often need

Life's not fair.


And now that I think about it the boys do tell each other," Looking slick today _________." or "Nice shirt.


Anonymous said...

a guys take........... maybe it's just me, but i don't think guys require as much reassurance about our appearance as girls do. especially from another guy.....awkward.

Anonymous said...

yo dude............i just left a comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jes said...

A couple of weeks ago, I had a guy comment my bedspread by saying it sorta went with my eyes. What's up with that? The bedspread looks nothing like my eyes! XD

So now I realize that this comment had nothing to do with the post....

Oh, well.

Love you, Esther!

Esther said...

I'm happy 4 you C. Did Sharon teach you how to leave comments?

c said...

i figured it out all on my own thankyou very much. i'm dangerous when i'm bored.c

Invisable_Ninja said...

Hmm.... I didn't think it would be wrong if a guy gave another guy a compliment.... I don't think too much on these things it gets me all confuzled! Lol

Invisable_Ninja said...

Btw anonymous not all girls care how they look =P

Anonymous said...

that's a funny comment from someone who has over 1000 pictures of yourself

Jes said...

That doesn't mean you care how you look. It just means your photogenic =D