Guy Pretty Vs Girl Pretty Dresses & 'Window Shopping'

Our church group has a weird habit of going to Wal-Mart anytime we are in Athens, and to the mall when we are in Cleveland. It's usually the guys' idea; I suppose to window shop. Several of them once explained to me that window shopping means looking at girls. (Interestingly enough they said they'd never heard of window shopping being looking at clothing/store items without buying. But it fits.)

So yeah, in between services our group was at our ghost town of a mall: not many stores left... (I'm not remembering any pretty girls there either. And definitely no good looking guys--except the ones with us lol.) Twas rather empty.

But I'm not complaining; sometimes I do actually like to shop. And some of Deb's maxi dresses were on sale for $5. After Jessie rejected a "not girly enough" dress I directed her to a frou frou 'thing' (I dunno what else to call it.) The hip area was spewing a huge puff of crinkly white lacy shredded fabric masquerading as ruffles. It was horrid. I cannot explain the horridness of it. "Is this one girly enough for you Jessie?" I said sweetly.

She loved it.

(I just lied.) Actually she exclaimed at the scariness of it then picked out a black dress that was feminine enough for her with a bow thingy at the top. She asked it handed down to her. She is short. (Or maybe we were just blocking the rack...)

The other girl held out an orange silky dress with a tropical forest growing on it, "I think I would actually wear this...Looks like the dress I didn't buy in Ross. Remember it. I went back for it, but it was gone."

(Men have stories about, "the fish that got away." Women have stories about, "the sale that got away.")

"Guys don't like these dresses." She said a bit later.

I wrinkle my forehead, "Why not? Are you sure?

"Yes, [The Tall Blonde Boy] and [P.K]. told me guys hated them."

"But [The Tall Blonde Boy] told me he loved my green dress." (Guys are such weird waffley things. Why can't they say what they mean and mean what they say.)
 
"Maybe it was just [P.K]." she answered.
 
They both put their dresses back.
 
I tried on 2 then bought the black one with the bow thing. I probably wouldn't have bought it if I thought all guys hated long-maxi-dresses.

It's not like my life revolves around boys, but hey they matter, and I do care. I'm just not after that particular guy.

I do majorly dislike the tent-like maxi dresses without any shape, or the ones made of tarp material. I like my hips.

If you delete it then it is saved forever / Blog Damage Control

...But if you save it, you can delete it, (Maybe forever. Maybe not)

Was talking about blogs with a friend who rushes to delete anything that could be awkward every time she finds out a new person who reads her blog...

It's best to not post anything online that you would mind anyone reading. Ever. (Unless your blog is private.)

But if you've post something to your blog, and wish it hadn't been posted. The best thing to do is NOT to delete it.

The problem with deleting a post is that the RSS it is still forever saved in feed burners memory. If you delete something you've written it's removed from the blog, but it is left in feed readers. Anyone who is subscribed to you, or anyone who subscribes in the future, can still read it.

But there is a way to get around the feeds. Instead of deleting the post just open the post in 'Edit Posts'. Save it to drafts. Then write a new post to replace the saved one in the feeds. (The old post will remain until you post over it.) In a few hours Google Reader will update your RSS Feed changing the old post to the new one. In other words If you save it (to drafts) you can delete it by writing over it.

Short and Sweet:

1. Save as draft
2. Write something else
3. Post the replacement

I'm not sure if all Feed Readers update saved posts when they are changed. Google Reader is the only one I've ever used.

*If a person has already read the original post, any post you write over it will not show up as new in the feed reader. (So whatever you write over the post probably won't get read as much.)

[Edit: Google reader only updates changes made on the last 30 posts, You can't change a post farther back than that in the feed readers via overwriting. Any changes will only show up on the blog itself. If you have unwanted things in your blog past life you can request Google to delete the RSS which will keep anyone who doesn't already have you saved in their feed burner from pulling up the blog you thought was deleted. I hope I didn't give anyone a false sense of security.]

Happiness And Stay Safe Sweetie

Guys Get No Validation

Later that day we were sitting in a circle and talking about love and getting married etc. (lotta talk no action that's us lol) and it came up how several of the (older) girls, me included, are forever talking about marrying the tall blonde boy.

"You need to wait until he is 18; After he is 18 you can all fight it out." his brother said.

I gulped inside; Surely he doesn't think we are serious about marrying him. 8 years man. I am 8 years older than him--8 years is the life of forever. At least since he is still a teenager. (Older and more mature people can have a bigger gap.)

So I said "Yeah well [He's] pretty, but it's not like that."

The Tall Blonde Boy cheerily said "Thank you Esther," (referring to the pretty comment.)

"--Pretty! Don't call [my brother] pretty! Pretty is too girly!"

He was right of course.

"I don't usually use pretty for guys, but what about beautiful?" I asked. (I do regularly call guys beautiful, but not where they can hear. Its' just like when talking to another girl about a guy and am like, 'Yes, he is beautiful'.) Was just curious to hear a guys take on that.

"No that's just too much," answered the brother.

"Well what do you call guys?"

"I don't call them anything. I'm just like, "Man you need a shower; you stink...."

"Sexy Beast' that's what Toby calls me. Or ravishing--Ravishing; that's what I'm going to start calling guys, 'man you really look ravishing today' "The Tall Blonde Boy chuckled, and grinned.

I suppose I could write, "How sad that it must be said so over the top; that a compliment must be a joke in order to be said at all."

--But it would be really weird to me if the guys started telling each other "You look really cute today" or "That color brings out your eyes. You should wear it more often."

Too bizarre. Girls say that kind of things to guys or to each other. Guys say that to girls. But to each other....

So yeah....

I'm un-happy with the status quo.

But also un-happy for my brothers and guy friends to not be getting the affirmation and ego boosts that they often need

Life's not fair.

Today I am feeling very sorry for boys.

They must have such hard lives.

Guys can't wear pink or purple unless brave enough to deal with gay jokes. They can't hug or complement each other. And they are so hairy.

(Yes, I am aware that I am using broad generalizations here.)

But I wonder if they naturally think like that or if they've just warped themselves to meet expectations....

So anyway, I was watching the guys Sunday, and said "Oh, Wow, Hey, they just were 'real hugging' each other. They usually just lean as far away from each other as they can and give a quick pat on the back."

The girl next to me said, "Yeah I think they feel obligated because of the whole 'love one another' sermon thing."

"I dunno" I thought "I mean, it’s just a hug. Can't be so awful of an experience for them...."

Later someone asked them; Me, or Her, or Someone Else--I can't remember.

Only two answered,

"Yeah we felt forced."Both nodded their shaggy head and widened their eyes melodramatically in puppy dog like anguish. (They are very alike to be so different; those two boys.)

"It was terrible."

I guess some of them did feel obligated, but surely hugging between guys is not always, I'm only-doing-this-because-I-have-to." Do they really think like that? I'm sure some guys, like some girls, prefer to not be hugged. But as a rule you know 7 out of 10. I don't buy it.

I do expect them to prefer hugging girls. Being a girl I would rather hug a guy than a girl. Only makes sense.

And not to want to be hugged all the time, or by everyone; I understand that.

But a hug is nice...
Surely even for guys.... Maybe just once in a while?

So anyway next subject...

6 flags pictures

All girl pics. I need to start taking pictures with guys more often.

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15 Lbs Lost

I love being slender, but curves are good...Tear.

I'm still healthy, as I'm small boned, and naturally rather small. It's just that I've got this super fast metabolism, and frankly when I'm stressed I don't eat enough...Still eat more than most girls I know, but yeah... It's like my belly gets tied in knots, then it's like "Listen person I'm full of knots you can't really expect to fit food in here too."

So this lady came up to me at church last week, "You look like you've lost weight?"

I'm not gonna lie, "Uh yeah 15 lbs..." I say, then I prepare to defend myself. And wonder, "Why did I have to wear something snug enough to show how scrawny I'm getting. Ugh stupidness."

But she says something enthusiastic like, "That's great! How did you do it!"

And I'm all thinking "Crazy lady," but I tell her, "Yeah actually I thought I looked good before. It wasn't on purpose....Stress."

She back tracked rapidly. It reminded me of listening to a friend complement a person for losing weight and the girl was all, "But you didn't think I looked good before?!"

And I felt like a jerk, because she was being nice. Actually I was a jerk. Or maybe I just came off that way.

Now that I think about it was kinda nice for a change. People are always griping at me 4 being skinny.

Currently it's true that I would look better with a little more meat, but why is it so acceptable to tell skinny people they need to eat more to gain weight? If I told all the fat people that they should eat less to lose weight, everyone would be mad at me. But random people are forever telling me that I need to eat more. I'm too bony. I need to gain weight. Bla bla bla.

At least I am healthy.

Pink Flowers and Lace and Men

I don’t think it’s wrong for guys to wear pink.

Yet I can understand why some people believe it is wrong; why they see it as blurring the line between masculinity; Why they think it feminizing a man. I can see how you think.

But look at it this way.

I currently have a pink flower in my hair. I wear flowers in my hair, because they are pretty, and because I feel girly or feminine when I wear them.

A guy that I know (And, yes, everyone knows which guy) often ends up tucking flowers behind his ears, and leaving them there for an hour or two. He is quite straight, and it's not a huge deal to me, though I prefer it not be done in public when I am with him. But some of our friends find it to be totally "gross and revolting." (Their words. Not mine.) I disagree.

I also have an older brother who loves flowers; His wife was laughing about it recently and told me, "He likes flowers more than I do."

In my opinion it is completely ok for my brother to like flowers, but I would be disturbed if he started wearing shirts with roses and carnations on them, or hair flowers. That is somewhat strange. (Those guy are not sinning in their choices. I did not say that. Do not tell them I said mean things about him.)

God created flowers; I’m sure he thought they were beautiful. (1st Kings 6:35 says there were flowers carved onto the doors of the house of the Lord and, in Song of Solomon 5:13 the woman compared her beloved's cheeks to sweet flowers and his lips to lilies.)

Also flowers are not immodest; wearing them won't make me (or him) responsible for causing others to lust.

--But wearing them (In today’s culture, and minus a few like the garish Hawaiian shirts and lovely Hawaiian Lei’s) is generally considered girly. This is a non-Biblical culture thing; the Bible doesn't say, “Men are not to wear flowers, on their shirts or in their hair.”

Still I think guys shouldn't be wearing hair flowers or blouses covered with pink lace roses. It doesn't look good because it doesn't look straight.

What is the difference with wearing pink shirts and pink hair flowers?

It's a culture thing in my opinion. Our culture is accepting of pink shirts on straight men. Our culture is not accepting of hair flowers on straight men.

Some people associate pink with women; they think men seem girly or feminine when wearing it. But really what is the difference with wearing pink shirts and pink hair flowers?

Not much.

Not much at all

i think

i believe
that running
away from your my problems
is sometimes
definately
an option

10-9-09

Pink Is 4 Girls; Blue is 4 Boys (Or is It?)

For years (in our culture) pink was considered a girls color, and mostly only women, and openly gay men wore it. But it’s now quite stylish for straight guys to wear pink.

Not long ago, I sat in a church service under a pastor, who I respect, and he said in his sermon that Christian boys have no business wearing pink; that it was wrong.

I have guy friends who love their pink shirts. I also have friends and family who think only girls should wear pink. Some think, “It’s not wrong; it just doesn’t look good.” And others have said, “Yeah, a pink button up is fine, but a pink T-shirt is just girly.” A few, like my pastor friend, believe it’s a sin to always be avoided. (He is, BTW, a completely awesome pastor. I'm not trashing him.)

I think if God thought it important that only girls wear pink he would've said something specifying that in the Bible. On the other hand I believe we should try not to give other people wrong perceptions.

If you are a boy and if how you talk, or look, or act often makes people question your masculinity, you have a problem. --Even if you’re not gay.

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (1st Corinthians 6:9-10 KJV)

(Gay men are often effeminate, but effeminate does not have the same meaning as homosexual; It means having unsuitable feminine attributes.)

The Bible does not say anything against any gender wearing any particular color. But the Bible does say: "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God." (Deuteronomy 22:5)

What defines an item of clothing as pertaining to a man or pertaining to a woman?

I believe that 10 years ago wearing pink might have ‘pertained to a woman’, I believe that back then, when at a glance you would be labeled feminine for wearing pink, it was best for straight men to avoid wearing the color.

--But pink never belonged exclusively to women.
The color isn’t intrinsically feminine.

I don't think it's wrong for men to wear the color when (most) people no longer associate it with femininity.

We are told to, "Abstain from all appearance of evil" 1st Thess 5:22

But Jesus also talks about how people will talk about you no matter what you do:

For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.

The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!

But wisdom is justified of all her children. (Luke 7: 33-35)

Sometimes ya just gotta live your life; quit worrying about all the gossip.

But hey if you believe it's wrong to wear pink please don't wear it. You can always tell your friends that pink is scientifically proven  to be more appealing to women. But if you do that you should also tell them that science also says that blue is more appealing to men.

Blue is my favorite color.
Not that it matters.

Susanna and i Camping

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Camping and Tornados

We have been playing card games in the light of a gas lamp, and a few citronella candles. The power is out. There is a tornado watch and 60 mph wind warnings in the Charleston area where i am camping. I can hear the pastor listening to the scratchy voice of a storm warning guy on his battery powered radio. I am relishing the danger and enjoying the sound of pounding rain on metal roof of the pole barn pavilion. Mom wants me home and out of the storm, so I'll leave maybe.

I just won our card game.

I just gave myself a haircut

Our trashcan afterwards...