Thursday, March 4, 2010

Dating Vs Courting

When I first started attending my current church I was startled by how many references the pastor made to courting. He doesn't talk about it much now, but back then was at least every week if not every service.

One day I was at a fast food restaurant with some people from church. I was sitting quietly when suddenly a boy (the P.K. actually) turned to me and asked, "Do you believe in dating or courting?"

I barely know you... I thought glancing his shoulder to see the pastor intently listening. Awkward, uh, what to say, what to say. I shifted through my thoughts...

  • A: The boy I like lives in GA and I like him, but I don't want him."
  • B: 'My dad wouldn't want me to date yet anyway."
or '
  • C: "I'm happily flirting with everyone right now?'  

No. no one understands A without a detailed explanation. (And I so wasn't giving a detailed explanation.) B would be completely uncool for the boy to hear and C would be way awkward for the pastor to hear.

So I just said, "I don't know yet."

He was suitably impressed by my honesty, and the pastor gave me a friendly-understanding-but-perhaps-somewhat-disappointed smile from behind the boys shoulder before turning away.

My (then) best (church) friend and I always wondered what exactly courting meant--To the pastor. I mean he always preached about it, but what did that mean? Definitely meant no sneaking off to make-out at youth camp lol, but what did you do?????

So we asked.
Actually I asked.
I can't remember exactly what he said.


You'll have to ask for yourself.


Some years later in the middle of our 10 millionth discussion about dating Vs courting the same guy turned to me on the way home from this 6 flags trip. "So what do you do if you haven't decided yet [if you want to marry the person]?"

"You date them to find out." I replied.

Nuff said.


Roxy said...

bahaha. love this post.
I am convinced that I will never have to worry about dating or courting. I honestly believe that God will comeback befor I have to worry about it. Or else, he really just wants me to be single so I follow him without distractions.
So, I guess I have really never thought about it- in relation to myself. lol
I did write a paper on it, though.

Esther said...

You should share your paper Roxie.

I'm curious.