Monday, January 4, 2010

I don't know

Is not that I would not like to know, but...

I don't.

And some things I do know.

Still I am not everything you think I am.

And that's not wrong of me.

But you might think it is.


Several years ago 3 of my younger siblings had stayed up 1/2 the night with friends, talking & laughing & comparing theologies. I think some mega-strong coffee was involved.

They told me about it later.

I told one of them "You might wanna be careful about talking other people out of their convictions."

She agreed. Was like, "Yeah just wasn't thinking"

But really-

They are/were just kids, and they were just bouncing their ideas off each other. That's part of growing up. That's part of figuring out who you are and what you believe, right?

I could go a little farther and say it's a part of life. That even adults can (maybe even should) disagree with each other at times.

Not snarkily or angrily. Just, you know, be real.

But a few weeks ago Someone told me she was close(r) to me because we had more [beliefs] in common. And I tensed up, but said nothing. Was thinking 'Maybe we don't.'

Probably we do.

Is hard to know....

Who are you?

I actually talk about weird random stuff with people. But rarely with from-my-church people. I think I'm a little afraid of them.

Edit: Maybe I'm just afraid of hurting or angering them. Our church culture is, 'Don't hurt anyone' but it's almost to the point of, 'Lets pretend we don't have beliefs because it might make others feel left out thatthey don't have them.'

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