Sunday, December 13, 2015

Breakover (Breakup Inspired Makeover): Goals

I have always planned to give myself a makeover after this break-up.

This was the plan even before I had a boyfriend, so it's a big deal.

'Yes, perhaps things will end, and hearts will be broken, but here is a coping strategy for just in case.'

I know it sounds pessimistic to pre-plan a thing that hasn't happened, but planning keeps me from stressing about the 'what-if's' and helps me to stop cowering and make life choices. Less shell shock too.

One of my best friends, when we were teenagers, was dumped and showed up blonde and curly headed the next week. She sang in the youth choir that week, and the youth leader asked me,"Who is that lady?"

She has been my break-over inspiration for so many years.

But I've been quite completely single for x amount of months, and have not yet done anything to myself.

...Well, I reshaped my eyebrows; that's something.


I mostly like my hair: it changes colors according to what I'm wearing (and according to how much gel I've got in it.) Plus I don't want to kill off my curls.

I want to do something though.

I plan to write new experiences next to these memories instead of disassociating myself from them completely.

I'm going to have sad memories that are stuck in my head for this specific time frame, and while I'm not trying to rewrite my experiences or white out my choices, I do want something else to remember this part of life by.

I find it helpful to have another mind topic to jump into if I'm dwelling too heavily on painful memories, or if I start getting too bitter with 'the people.'

But the big question remains.

--What should I do to myself?

I had approximately a year of knowing my boyfriend was being talked into breaking up with me before he actually did.

I saw it as keep-my-boyfriend prevention at the time, but I did update my style and put effort into curating a wardrobe that I liked. By the time he said, "Things were never the same after that" and broke up with me, I was already happy with my look, and felt no need to make a point.

Also I was weary.

But I feel robbed of my break-over.

So I'm still gonna still do it.


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