"PS: I'm Married" -not me

All the single people at one table. Couples who are friends together. Family's with kids together... (wedding seating arrangements.)

The brides high school best friend was assigned to a 'married-but-spouse-isn't-here-table'. When the other guests assigned to that table moved, and there were extra seats at the singles table, she came to sit there with us. (She knew me a little bit, and didn't know anyone else at the reception...)

One of the guys started talking to her. Not all, "Yeah baby you're hot." Just tastefully flirting--maybe he wouldn't call it that--but he was definitely interested in her, and had singled her out from across the table, was trying his best to keep her conversation, kept asking questions about her life, and was teasing her a little, you know... flirting.

Flirting is acceptable if you're single, or if you're flirting with your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend.

But when you're married you shouldn't be flirting with people other than your spouse. And even if you're not married yourself, you shouldn't flirt with someone who is.

But she's pretty. He was attracted to her. That wasn't wrong of either of them.

Across the table she tried to get the point out. She started her sentences with, "My husband and I..." and "At my wedding."

"I'm only catching pieces of what you are saying." He leaned eagerly over the table toward her.

She put her hands on the table and started playing with her wedding rings, and holding them to the light to admire them.

It took a while, but finally he realized she was married. His eyes got big and he pulled back. But she left him with his dignity. And that impressed me.

I picture myself saying something blunt and horrid like, "By the way I'm married stop flirting with me."

What's sad is that Leah's first words when we were talking about it was, "Yeah you would say 'Dude I'm married. Quit flirting with me'. or something horrid and rude like that."

I'm going to learn tact.

Twinking / Try to NOT Upset the Parents

I feel like a bad friend today.

I've come to understand that matching is painfully difficult for some people. It doesn't bother me. Maybe because I grew up dirt poor, and we were lucky if our hand-me-downs were presentable. Maybe because my girlfriends used to try to match.
But I usually try to respect other people's feelings.

I was just making conversation.

"Ohh, I love your blazer. I need one." (I lost my black blazer in Pennslyvania)

"Um, uh I got it at Wal-Mart."

I had assumed Courtney had given it to her, and didn't think buying one was an option. But knowledge is power...

So the next week I bought one. And have carefully avoided wearing it around our mutual friends.

Just in case...

I got in trouble that way once. Sort of. Well not my trouble but it was a guilt trip lemmetellya... A different day. A different girl.

I was trying on hoodies.

"I have that one." she said.

"Does Rusty mean something? Is that someone famous? I really don't want to wear someone's name."  Everyone laughed at me and said no.

(I'm no skater chic. PacSun isn't my style. I was only looking because they were $5.)

I pulled it off the hanger, and tried it on, but she cringed so I asked, "Do you care if I have the same hoodie as you?"

And she said, "No."

But she didn't mean it. And I knew that, but bought it anyway.

She griped a little about 'twinkin.' Was a two-sided jacket. Designs on one side and purple on the other. Upon asking, she said she only wore the purple side outside, so I determined to wear the other side.

--2 weeks later--

"You have a jacket just like ____" It was her mom, "Why aren't you wearing it on the pretty side."

"Well ___  doesn't like to match." I said it matter of fact, then I caught her mom's face and said, "I really don't care though, I like this side."

She went all mama bear, but the other way around. "Honey you wear it on the pretty side! Turn that inside out right away!"

It was very awkward. And I tried to explain that I really was fine with the other side. And said I hadn't been told not to match.

But the next week the daughter was all, "I'm sorry." (I'm sure her mom fussed at her.)

It's no crime to not want to match.

Awkward.
Drama.

Bla. It isn't even a very cute hoodie.

47 Minutes at the Flea Market.

According to Grandma's memoir I'm part Scottish. Maybe that's why I love flea markets and haggling...

I don't care enough about a good deal to hunt out yard sales. Feels like I'm wasting $40 worth of time and $5 worth of gas. But on Saturday mornings when I don't have 5,000 things I should've done yesterday, I like to visit the flea market.

It's entirely different from the Sweetwater Flea Market where the booths never change year around, the sellers buy inventory quarterly, and have employees who are required to fill out tax forms.

I go to Midway Drive-In Theater where on Saturday mornings sellers pay $2 to spread blankets on the gravel. It's a yard sale style flea market with lots of people selling years worth of used and unused cast-offs accumulated from our wasteful American lifestyle.

(Also people who have probably been dumpster diving...)

I'm told, "To get the good deals you need to get there early." I scoff at that. Unlike yard sales this flea market rarely lasts till noon, around 9:30 buyers thin out and sellers want to go home. Most plan to donate their unsold items to Goodwill, so drop their prices. Plus I like to sleep in.

But about the dumpster diving guy... (Btw I have just now named him Blake, and shall hereafter refer to him thus when convenient.)

"$5 I’ll sell you this whole box for $5! What a deal!” He called out as I stopped at his table.

“I don’t need all this stuff.” I said before I shifted through the cardboard box of phone jacks and chargers, ear buds and headphones—all new and in their plastic boxes--before pulling out a package labeled wireless earbuds.

“I’ll give you $1 for this.” I told him.

“Only a dollar!” He griped, “ Three dollars, two fifty at least.”

“Oh whatever. You offered me the whole box for $5 we both know I could’ve bought this for fifty-cents.” I grinned and shook my head.

“Ohhhh, ok a dollar then,” Blake said. Then noting the $5 price he had written on the package sighed dramatically dropped his shoulders and shaking his head said, “The things I do for pretty girls.”

Just then a man came by and asked the price of two chairs.

“I’ve got to get rid of this stuff. Tell you what I’ll sell them for $20 apiece, but you’ve got to buy them both.”

The man nodded and reached for his wallet, but was interrupted by Blake’s wife who was sitting a few yards away. “$5 each for the chairs she yelled”

“Well $5 I guess then.” Blake said and grimaced in her direction.
---

Pictures of all the things I bought today [Edit: this was written in June, so like most of my posts "today" is not really today] after the jump

I Could Really Use A Change of Heart

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" he asked.

Self conscious, I slouched a little down the wall, "I would like to be married."

"Do you plan to keep a job after you're married?"

"Until I have kids." The thought of staying home with children all the time is not an exciting thought to me. But I believe that the parents should raise their children not the grandma. (When beliefs and desires conflict; I usually stick to beliefs...)

"I was thinking that, so theres not a lot of point of you going to school."

"Weeeeell 5 years ago I wouldn't have expected myself to be still single today, soooo."

"But that was by choice right? You could be married by now if you wanted to."

'Shove it in my face man... Yes. I walked away from everyone.'

I was busy, they didn't suit me, one (or 8) of my friends were in love with him and I didn't want to destroy my girl friendships, or I was scared...or my heart was otherwise occupied, so I didn't give anyone else a chance.

Mostly the heart-being-otherwise-occupied thing.

I'm everything or nothing; either intensely in like, or planning my escape. Usually both simultaneously. I hate that. Blast this.

What is the matter with me?