Intentionally Misleading My Friends (I Call it Tact)

I used to tell everyone the truth when asked. Always.

Unfortunately the truth isn't always the best thing to say. Sometimes saying nothing is better. Occasionally changing the subject or misleading people into believing you answered their question is best.

For instance:

If I shop with Ann* and she likes a dress and asks, "Esther, what do you think about this dress?" It could be hideous and completely unflattering and would make her look like a small pregnant hippo, but I'll say, "That color is sooo pretty," then, I'll reach out to feel the fabric and say, "Oh and the material is really soft."

Then she will assume that I've answered her question. Assume that I love the dress even though I don't.

I do that to be nice to her.

It's not in my nature to avoid the truth. For years I treated Ann* like I treat Leah only without being so specific. She would ask, "Do you like this?" and I would say, "No. Not really." or "It's shaped oddly," Then later she would tell everyone, "Esther is sooo mean, she makes fun of everything I like."

And I would feel hurt, and betrayed, and incredulously say, "But she asked!" When they fussed at me for 'being so mean.'

Then finally I realized...'She always tells people I'm mean in reference to my dislike of some horrid item of clothing.'

I was tired of hearing her tell people I was mean, but more than that I realized that it really did annoy her. She is usually a nice person; I like her. (And dude I don't care what she buys, or how she dresses.)

I didn't start lying to her. I just started walking around the truth. Just because she asks for my opinion doesn't mean she wants it.

Some people can't handle the truth, or can't handle certain truths; there's no point in giving it to them if it will only cause them to become angry.

I'm a yes man. Ha ha, how awkward.

*I changed the name just in case...