Every year around the 1st of December I start to panic. (I'm a little early this year.)
I don't belong here.
Christmas is scary.
I wonder if these people resent me.
I don't have a big hatred of Christmas. I might celebrate it at some point in my life. One of my brothers celebrated Christmas with his (then) girlfriend for a couple of years. I guess I could celebrate it now if I chose to.
But Christmas scares me because people are mean this time of year. They think if you don't celebrate it you don't love Jesus or something I guess...
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I've actually been in a Christmas play/thing before. Lemme tell you about it:
My family went to another church for a while (11 years actually.) One year in December we had a skit thing. (I can't remember exactly what it was all about, but it was lovely.) We dripped hot white candle wax all over the carpet & sang "
Carry Your Candle" in the dark. I love fire.
We had been told that it was not for Christmas--But it was.
Which is not to say that it was terrible or evil; just that it was a Christmas thing? It was a good play and a few families had filled brown paper lunch bags with nuts, fruit, and candy which they handed out after the play, then passed them and fruit baskets through the (poor) neighborhood where our church was located. I think if people are going to have Christmas celebrations that's a good way have them.
But my family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
We talked about it afterward, and my fam was like, 'yeah that's what it was, but we asked.... didn't know.' So anyway we didn't say anything about it. It was over and bla.
The church knew we didn't 'do Christmas', but we had never asked them to not have Christmas celebrations at church. It was really their call--Not ours. (They should've told us that it was for Christmas when we asked though.)
The next year around the beginning of December during church a man asked, "Are we gonna have a Christmas play again this year?"
The pastor's daughter answered, "Yes, we'll do the same song we did last year." Then we went on with our service.
So anyway in a couple of weeks, when it came time for play practice my family didn't stay. We didn't throw a fit. We didn't ask anyone else to not have a play, or be in a play. We didn't slam Christmas. We just didn't stay and practice.
(If you don't believe in something, you don't do it; that's how it is.)
(Honestly my parents had not asked them to not have Christmas plays. The church had just skipped it for the 11 years that we were there. Maybe they felt obligated to...)
Sigh.
The next service was a Wednesday. (My Dad had a recently started business, and worked late every weekday, so never made it to Wednesday service) The pastor asked my brother who ran sound to instead sit in the pews and stuck a cassette tape in the recorder. (We never taped the midweek service, so that was different, but I assumed it was a sermon he was extra happy with....)
Anyway he chewed my family out the whole sermon saying at one point, "If you don't believe that what I believe is right, you don't need to be here. You should go to another church." Then after church he gave my mom the tape & told her to give it to Dad, then the pastors wife yelled at my mom for a while, and made her cry.
It was very dreadful.
We did leave.
(My best friends Dad left also. He was recently saved, and after sitting through the service said "If that's what Christians are like I'm not going to be one.")