Monday, June 22, 2009

change ?

“What’s wrong with your voice, honey?”

“Nothing, I just have a weird voice” I grinned at the Subway lady.

“Oh I’m sorry. I just thought, you know. Colds going around.”

My voice sounded funny because I was thinking serious thoughts on the drive to Subway--It’s a funny, but true, explanation.

“It’s strange,” Leah informed me several years ago, “When you talk about serious things your voice completely changes.”

I hadn't noticed and carefully moderated my voice for a while after that. When fast food workers worry about my voice maybe I should start smoothing it out again.

It does change a lot; my voice gets higher when I’m hyper and cracks when I’m serious. … sometimes my voice is normal; I think. Maybe when I’m not hyper, or serious, or at work, or on the phone…

The Gordon People always had a remark about my voice every time I telephoned: “I knew it was you the minute I heard your squeaky voice,” or “You really don’t need to say who you are when you call. Everyone can tell.” Every person in that family discussed my voice, “YOU JUST HAVE A VERY DISTINCTIVE VOICE, MISS ESTHER,” Philip (the dad) boomed regularly. (Talk about distinctive voices; seriously that man has a huge voice.)

“We Love Your Voice!” Is what John and Joseph always said, “It is really squeaky and awesome!” (Of course they are huge proponents of individuality.)

I recall Trent whose blog I occasionally read saying, “a lower voice is usually better “ I don’t think this applies to women…

I could pay for speaking lessons Yeah, right. That is so not Esther-like, though I did pay for singing lessons for a while.

Google tells me breathing correctly is very important, and speaking in monotone is dreadful, but I don’t think that’s my problem…

I’m not sure I want a completely normal voice. Mine is really squeaky and weird; sometimes that’s awesome.

Sometimes not so awesome...


I'm still thinking about it.



-Anyway Happiness

Friday, June 12, 2009

"I Deleted You"

An old acquaintance has just started to hang out with one of my groups.

"Text and let me know. Josh has my number and so does Esther"

He must have caught my sheepish look, "You do still have my number right?"

I shifted awkwardly against the table I was leaning against, "Uh, no."

I had considered telling him that I got a new phone. Twas the truth; I did get a new phone. But the truth is also that I deleted him some time before I got this new phone.

Later on the ride home Leah turned her face to me, "So you deleted him."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

“Well, I just never talked to him. I really don’t know him. He was just taking up space…”

Later that week N8 told me to text some people to invite them to go to the mountains with us.

I was ever so happy that the deleted person was listening, “I can’t; my new cell has only 5 people.”

He will never know I deleted him.

Not that he cared....

….But I feel better

And he is an actual friend at this point in my life--even though I'd not talked to him for years. (I deleted him when he was a never seen acquaintance.)

Happiness, Esther

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Singles Meeting

My church is having a singles meeting tonight at 7:00. All the singles are weirded out, and wondering if it will be awkward and strange.

We all joke that we’ll be told, "Pick a name out of the hat & you need to marry whoever you get. We are tired of having so many unattached youth."

My Dad was a little worried when he first heard of it; I believe he thought it was a pick-a-person-&-go-on-a-date-with-them singles meeting. (A professor at Roxy's school has his students do something like that; he sets his students up as a part of his class, even planning their dates and paying for them I believe)

When announcing the meeting pastor said, "Before I was married I thought singleness was a disease--and I had it." He went on to say," Most young people believe they need to be married to be complete. Whoever marries them will only get a half a person."So I imagine we are all to learn that singleness is good and; to be content in the season we are in.....

Probably it will be uncomfortable. Maybe it will be good for us.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Nieces, Nephews & Stuff

My family went to the lake in the mountains Saturday with my sister and brother-in-law + their 4 children.

Lake Chilhowee is located in Polk County, so I kept asking people, " What county are we in." I poked them in the ribs after they answered, "Polk county" The name sounds just like poke.

We ate grilled burgers & grilled chicken, then swam in the lake for a while. (There was a very white girl there; she was practically translucent. Also a boy who kept swimming under Leah while we were hanging to the rope.)

We walked around the lake and picked flowers (Totally illegal--i know, but Kailey wanted some. Plus Zach gave me some). The boys were excited to catch a zippety-fast black bug, but were scared of the slowly-swimming fish--go figure.

Brian is picture crazy and his attempts to photograph his kids was rather comical. One time he was trying to get them to sit on a rock with the woods in the background, and Zachary spied a beer bottle in the woods and carried it back to be photographed with him. (We were all like, well he doesn't know one pretty bottle from another.) Another time he had them all sitting in front of the lake, but couldn't get their attention, so said "Look at the bear behind Daddy." The boys both jumped up and ran past him to see the 'bear'. Oh well.

Afterwards we dropped by sonic and I ordered a caramel java chiller to wake me up. The coffee did not keep me awake, but everyone agreed that it tasted awesome.

Sonic is offering free root beer floats today from 8:00 PM to 12:00 PM per their site.

Happiness